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I haven't forgotten!

I still lurk on lj, but it seems as time goes on I post less..share less of myself. I think I feel selfish to share myself, my stories in art or words as many others have more interesting stories that ought to be heard before my own.

But maybe this is just a silly way to think. So I wonder..

I occasionally write for myself..usually things I never share with anyone, mostly because I think them cheesy but still deeply personal. I think there is a fragile part of my ego that will always remain. I know it is silly to worry about what others think, but the thought of someone laughing at something that..however silly it may seem to them, still means something to me really bothers me. On the other hand I feel disconnected and distant from things when I don't share my creations. In many ways just the act of sharing is motivation to continue creating. To open up your vulnerability to the world, and imo creations can be just that, is exhilarating in itself. It's like leaping with your eyes closed and not knowing just where you will land..it's exciting. And at the core of the desire to continue creating is a need for this fuel, to stay excited enough to continue creating...well imho anyway.

SO enough rambling, I wish to make an effort to start sharing more again and being less of a recluse. And to the meat of the matter, would anyone be interested or adverse to seeing me post personal writings? Most of these are just short prose I write at random moments but also sometimes short stories.

I miss ya guys, genuinely! The longer I am away the more I realize how much all you folks feed into my drive to create. That does not mean it is your job or obligation to pat me on the back or feed me compliments. Just knowing you stopped by and looked..or read..or even just glanced is more than enough for me.


( 25 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 11th, 2010 11:19 pm (UTC)
I completely understand. I usually lack creative drive cause I'm afraid someone will laugh at my efforts because what I create is garbage or something. I personally would love to see more posts from you.

Hey what's your email? I wanna discuss a project with you.
Mar. 11th, 2010 11:25 pm (UTC)

Just kidding. HI BALAA! <3
Mar. 11th, 2010 11:40 pm (UTC)
I write a lot for myself, too, to keep the creativity going. Otherwise, I just can't draw anything meaningful. I never share these things with people just for the same reason. My art? Sure, critique it. Someone reading something cheesy that I wrote for myself. Oh god no, stay away!

But it's good to see you alliiivvveee! \o/
Mar. 11th, 2010 11:47 pm (UTC)
I was just thinking the other day that I hadn't seen you post anything.

I miss seeing ya around :)
Mar. 12th, 2010 12:08 am (UTC)
Whatever you post, I'll read! I'm sure it's good. :>
Mar. 12th, 2010 12:56 am (UTC)
Sometimes I think I write too much; I've dropped drawing in favour of writing honestly. But I'm sure anything you do get up would be just as interesting as your artwork. I'd love to read!
Mar. 12th, 2010 01:06 am (UTC)
*Hugs* I'm just glad you are still around :)

And I know how you feel. Working where I do with so many people daily I go into total hermit mode once I get home and just don't want to go out and mingle with the masses or even do much on this.

I do still need to get to making your lightsaber too (needs muse to hit me)

*gets back to packing for Seattle trip* :)
Mar. 12th, 2010 01:17 am (UTC)
I catch myself doing the exact same thing... which leads to week-long gaps in my posts. I think I should be inspired by this post and do the same. :)
Mar. 12th, 2010 01:32 am (UTC)
I would be interested - and honored to share in such a part of yourself. ^^
Mar. 12th, 2010 02:09 am (UTC)
Bawaa! :D

As writing is indeed an art form (and granted you feel comfortable with it!) no one should be opposed to you posting it.

I have to be honest, I'm a bit ADD when it comes to sitting down and reading things on a computer though. :x
Mar. 12th, 2010 02:12 am (UTC)
Also, those sketches Bagheera posted for you were excellent. Figured I'd personally tell you. :V
Mar. 12th, 2010 02:11 am (UTC)
I miss you lady...we really need to hang out again sometime soon :) It's good to hear from you. I'd love to see any writing you've done, it's a passion of mine.
Mar. 12th, 2010 04:00 am (UTC)
*huggleglomp* I miss you Balaa!!

I would love to see and hear what you have been up too hun! It would be a definate honour to hear some of your personal storys and feelings *wraps you in a blanket and gives you skittles* C=
Mar. 12th, 2010 04:04 am (UTC)
Yay! Its a Balaa!

I'd definitely like to see more posts from you. Stuff you write, a weekly State of The Balaa address, sketches, randomness, whatever. :)
Mar. 12th, 2010 05:27 am (UTC)

*waves* :)
Mar. 12th, 2010 06:05 am (UTC)
I have a very hard time talking about myself too. But I try to push myself to be more social because I enjoy meeting people and making new friends.

I've always enjoyed reading your journal, even though I don't always comment.
Mar. 12th, 2010 07:02 am (UTC)
Glad to see you're alive :3
Mar. 12th, 2010 08:16 am (UTC)
Yay! Lifesigns! :3

And if you´re willing to share, i´m willing and interested in reading it!
Mar. 12th, 2010 09:35 am (UTC)
we missing you too!!!
Mar. 12th, 2010 02:00 pm (UTC)
I've stopped, and looked, and read... and I love Your artwork, but would like a chance to read Your writing too!
Mar. 12th, 2010 04:04 pm (UTC)
Post anything you like - it's just great to hear from you! :D
Mar. 12th, 2010 05:07 pm (UTC)
I agree with so many others here... post whatever you want, it is nice to hear from you, and it is always nice to gain a little insight into how others perceive the world around them.
Mar. 21st, 2010 06:45 am (UTC)
Miss ya and always love seeing your new art :)
May. 8th, 2010 05:17 am (UTC)
Happy Birthdee, Balaa!! :D
May. 9th, 2010 08:48 pm (UTC)
Thank you sweetie!!! I'm humbled that folks remember..but whats more even take time out of their precious days to say something lovely!

In turn, hope you are well!
( 25 comments — Leave a comment )